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来源:中华分类    发布时间:2019年09月17日 18:29:25    编辑:admin         

听笑话学英语:Problem with gas放屁的问题A little old lady goes to the doctor ... and says, "Doctor, I have this problem with gas, but it doesn't really bother me too much. They never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I've farted at least times since I've been here in your office. You didn't know I was farting because they don't smell and are silent." The doctor says, "I see. Here's a prescription. Take these pills 3 times a day seven days and come back to see me next week." The next week the lady goes back. "Doctor," she says, "I don't know what the hell you gave me, but now my farts ... although still silent... stink terribly." The doctor says, "Good! Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's start working on your hearing."有位小老太太去看医生:“医生,我有爱放屁的毛病其实也不是大问题,只是我放屁不臭而且没声音事实上,我在这里已经放了多个屁,但是你并不知道对吧,因为我的屁不臭,而且还没声音”医生说:“好的,我明白了吃这个药片,一天三次连续吃七天,下星期你再来”一星期后老太太来了,“医生,你到底给的我什么药,现在我放屁还是没声音,但是怎么这么臭!”医生说:“太好了!你的嗅觉正常了,现在开始治听觉” 69。

US Senator Celebrates Start of a Political Revolution开启美国政坛新纪元US Senator Bernie Sanders declared the beginning of a political revolution this week after winning an important preliminary election against Democratic opponent Hillary Clinton. The 7-year-old senator, who says he wants to give the government back to the people, received over 80% of the young vote (ages 18-9) at the New Hampshire primary. Throughout his presidential campaign, Sanders has been speaking out against political corruption. Sanders says that the billionaire class, also known as the 1%, funds elections and influences political decisions. The senator hopes to win the election with small contributions from everyday Americans. He also wants to make public colleges and universities tuition free.在初选选举中,参议员伯尼·桑德斯战胜希拉里·克林顿,本周,桑德斯宣布进行“政治改革”在新州初选中,桑德斯得票数超80%(18-9年龄段)选举期间,桑德斯一直声讨政治腐败据桑德斯所说,亿万富翁阶级资助选举活动,影响政治决策,他们也被人们称之为“1%阶级”桑德斯希望通过民众的微薄贡献赢得选举他还呼吁取消公立大学学费译文属原创,,不得转载 65。

Voice 1: Thank you joining us Spotlight! I’m Rebekah Schipper.声音1:谢谢大家收听重点报道节目我是瑞贝卡·席佩尔Voice : And I’m Liz Waid.声音:我是利兹·韦德Voice 3: It is Born声音3:诞生Here I came to the very edge在这里,我来到边缘,where nothing at all needs saying,无需多言everything is absorbed through weather and the sea,一切都被天气和大海所吸收and the moon swam back,月光回归its rays all silvered,银色光线闪耀and time and again the darkness would be broken黑暗再次被打破by the crash of a wave,被一道道浪花击破and every day on the balcony of the sea,每天在海边的露台,wings open, fire is born,张开翅膀,火光诞生and everything is blue again, like morning.如早上一样,所有的一切再度湛蓝Voice : What did you think of when you heard this poem? Could you hear the waves crashing against the sandy shore? Could you see the silver moon? Could you see the beautiful blue colour it speaks of? This poem talks about the birth of fire. Could you imagine fire being born on the sea?声音:你听到这首诗的时候想到了什么?你能听到海浪拍打沙滩的声音吗?你能看到银色的月光吗?你能看到诗里提到的漂亮蓝色吗?这首诗讲的是火光的诞生你能想象火焰在海上燃烧起来的情景吗?译文属 6。

o+tP.33P_#^)K**0Ef-Y9B7B0World First Test Tube-Baby Is BornLouise Brown, the world first ;test tube baby;, is born in Manchester, England.In 1978, the world first ;test tube baby;, Louise Brown, was born in Oldham and District General Hospital in Manchester, England.After ;in vitro fertilization; (IVF) treatment, Louise mother had an embryo of her egg and her husband sperm implanted in her womb after it had been fertilized in a laboratory.The technique was pioneered by gynaecologist Patrick Steptoe and physiologist Robert Edwards.Since Louise birth, over 1,000,000 babies worldwide have been born as a result of IVF treatment.@yay0Be7[q(fWMNrfY]8XZz;J_8Kj;.pAc,5zx^8!~NxeqIoX;y~rmYjh,S%XT 8。

33  Ig Nobel Prize  Some people covet it, others flee from it. Some laugh with it, others laugh at it. Many praise it, a few criticize it, others are just confused. And many people are madly in love with it. It is the Ig Nobel Prize.  Weve been awarding Ig Nobel Prizes since 1991. Each year, ten Ig Nobel Prizes are awarded. The selection criterion is simple. The prizes are ;achievements that cannot or should not be reproduced.; Examine that phrase carefully. It covers a lot of ground. It says nothing about whether a thing is good or bad.  After something has been discovered or created, no one can later become the first to have made that discovery or creation. The ;firstness; cannot be repeated. Thus, Don Featherstone (Ig Nobel Art Prize, 1996), the creator of the plastic pink flamingo, clearly qualifies under the ;cannot be repeated; phrase. Similarly, Anders Barheim and Hogne Sandvik (Ig Nobel Biology Prize, 1996), who discovered that sour cream stimulates the appetite of leeches, but that garlic often kills them, clearly qualify under the ;cannot be repeated; phrase.  Jacques Benveniste (Ig Nobel Chemistry Prize, 1991 and 1998) discovered that water molecules remember things and that the memories can be transmitted over telephone lines; Shigeru Watanabe, Junko Sakamoto, and Masumi Wakita (Ig Nobel Psychology Prize, 1995) made their achievement in training pigeons to distinguish between the paintings of Picasso and those of Monet...  I raise this matter of good or bad, because the world in general seems to enjoy classifying things as being either one or the other. The Ig Nobel Prizes aside, most prizes, in most places, are clearly meant to honor the goodness or badness of the receivers. Olympic medals go to very good athletes. Worst-dressed prizes go to badly dressed celebrities. Nobel Prizes go to scientists, writers, and others who excel. These prizes, and most others, are meant to honor the extremes of humanity -- those whose achievements should be seen as very good or very bad. The Ig Nobel Prize isnt like that. The Ig honors the great confusion in which most of us exist much of the time. Life is confusing. Good and bad get all mixed up. Yin can be hard to distinguish from yang.  Most people go through life without ever being awarded a great prize to acknowledge that, yes, they have done something. That why we award Ig Nobel Prizes. If you win one, it means that you have done some thing. What that thing is may be hard to explain. Whether your achievement is the public good or had may be difficult or even painful to explain. But the fact is, you did it, and have been recognized doing it. 1830。

Just want to take a day off[00:.]Listen and Share[00:.65]知行哈哈糖[00:.]Just want to take a day off 想请一天假[00:6.]词汇扫描[00:9.68]run [r#65;n] 经营[00:3.90]time off 请假[00:36.]英文原文[00:38.35]A big challenge of running a small business[00:1.9]is dealing with employees' requests time off.[00:5.]One morning an employee said, "I need to leave early tomorrow."[00:9.50]Later that same day, he followed up with,[00:5.]"Looks like I'll be coming in late tomorrow,[00:5.5]but if my coming in late runs into my leaving early,[00:57.53]then I won't be in at all." [01:01.78]中文大意[01:6.93]逐句对照[01:31.70]A big challenge of running a small business[01:.5]is dealing with employees' requests time off.[01:.]One morning an employee said, "I need to leave early tomorrow."[01:50.]Later that same day, he followed up with,[01:5.76]"Looks like I'll be coming in late tomorrow,[:00.19]but if my coming in late runs into my leaving early,[:.9]then I won't be in at all." [:.]多学一点[:.98]run[:1.37]run a small business[:3.]run 经营、管理[:5.86]run a school[:.]run a company[:31.87]run[:3.7]run into 偶然遇见、发现[:38.]ran into an old friend[:7.]run into[:51.]run into trouble[:56.81]time off 请假[:58.57]off 休息、请假[:.]They took a day off.[:.]We have two days off in a week.[:.]重新听一次故事原文[:.73]A big challenge of running a small business[:.]is dealing with employees' requests time off.[:3.77]One morning an employee said, "I need to leave early tomorrow."[:.00]Later that same day, he followed up with,[:30.58]"Looks like I'll be coming in late tomorrow,[:3.90]but if my coming in late runs into my leaving early,[:35.95]then I won't be in at all." [:7.73]谢谢收听 188。

Voice : Since 1996, doctors have used a drug called tPA to help people like Melissa. tPA breaks down the blood clot that blocks the artery. But it is only effective small clots. And, it gives doctors only three hours to fight the damage.声音:医生从1996年开始使用一种名为组织型纤溶酶原激活剂(简称tPA)的药物,帮助像梅丽莎一样的病人组织型纤溶酶原激活剂可以溶解阻塞动脉的血块但是这种药物只对小血块起作用这种药物只能给医生三个小时的时间来对抗脑损伤Voice 1: So doctors used a new device Melissa. It is called the Merci Retriever, or just Merci. The Merci is good because it gives doctors more time to work. They have up to eight hours to fight damage. The Merci works by using a special wire to take hold of the clot and pull it out. Doctors made a small cut in the very top of Melissa leg. They carefully fed the Merci device into an artery. They guided it up to the affected area of the brain. A few minutes after the operation, blood started to flow again. Oxygen fed into Melissa brain. The Merci Retriever saved her life!声音1:所以,医生在治疗梅丽莎时使用了一种新设备这种设备名为血栓拔除器,简称Merci血栓拔除器非常好用,因为它使医生有更多时间进行救治该设备使医生有8个小时的时间可以对抗损伤血栓拔除器用一根特殊的金属线抓住血块,然后把血块拉出来医生在梅丽莎的大腿根部切开一个小口他们小心翼翼地把血栓拔除器放进动脉中然后,他们把血栓拔除器放到大脑受影响的区域在手术的几分钟以后,血液就会重新开始流动氧气再次输入梅丽莎的大脑血栓拔除器救了她的命!Voice : However the Merci Retriever and tPA both have limits. They are not good at dealing with with large clots that are deep inside the brain. Is there hope patients with this problem? Well, yes - one hope comes in the m of a bat!声音:但是,血栓拔除器和组织型纤溶酶原激活剂都有局限它们在处理脑部深处的大血块上都表现不佳遇到这种问题的病人还有希望吗?当然有,其中一个希望就来自一种蝙蝠! 译文属 55。

The Mole痦子She had a mole on her face. She hated it. It was on her left cheek. It wasn’t far from her mouth. She touched it every day. She wished that it would go away. But it didn’t. It was an ugly brown bump on her cheek. It was a dark brown circle. It was about the size of a pencil eraser. Everyone could see her mole. Everyone looked at her mole. She hated her mole. Every night she scrubbed her cheek extra hard. Maybe she could scrub the mole away. Every day she pressed down on the mole with her finger. Maybe she could press the mole away. She asked her mom to cut the mole off with a razor. “I won’t cut it off with a razor,” said her mom. “I’m not a doctor. I’ll take you to a doctor. Maybe he can cut it off with a razor.”她脸上有颗痣她非常讨厌痣在左脸颊上离嘴边不远她每天都会触摸这颗痣她希望它消失但事与愿违脸颊上有一颗棕色凸起是一个黑棕色的圆圈与橡皮擦差不多大小所有人都看得到所有人都看这颗痣她讨厌这颗痣每天晚上,她都会用力擦拭脸颊或许能将它清除下去她每天都会用手挤压或许能将它挤压掉她让妈妈用剃刀将它剔除妈妈说:“我不会用剃刀剔除,我不是医生我带你去看医生或许他能用剃刀剔除”译文属原创,,不得转载 3776。